long long long weekend

oh goodness, i've hardly gotten any sleep all weekend.
from soccer, to birthdays, i've not been able to shut my eyes for anything more than 2 hours at a time.
soccer was a blast though. not to mention the aches, joint pains and the fatigue baggage that came along after the tourny.
i feel so accident prone suddenly, getting hit, messing things up and just doing stupid things all the way.

this post has the potential of being really really long. (2 reallys!!)
so many things have just happened over the weekend and yet, i cant collectively put all my thoughts together to phrase my sentences together.
maybe i shall just post everything in bit by bit.
eh bros, start posting.

spencer

high

high high high.
the one intense word that always hits me on friday nights.
teh ping, teh ping, teh ping, my best friend, my worse enemy.
i'm slowly going nuts, and a lack of zzzZZZzzz is a strong contributing factor to my slow demise.
soccer's in 8 hours!! oh no!!
yes, i'm nervous. caffeine has that effect too.. argh argh argh.
aaron's right, i'm losing my marbles. (never really owned marbles though.)
what to do, what to do, what to do.
jia lat. jia lat.

happy birthday charlene! the now 19 year old, gibberish speaking, sweet lil' girl.
am offcially gonna try to turn in now. pray it works. =p
nighty nights.

spencer(obviously right?)

thought process

ever wondered how the thought process goes when you are contemplating on getting a gift for someone's birthday? well, here's a brief walkthrough.

1. consider the person's age. now, not the age in which the person is celebrating his/her bday, but the age they prefer to be recognized as.

2. consider what the person already has. receiving 2 similar gifts is a headache. and when your bday comes, expect the gift to land right back in your hands.

3. it's the thought that counts. yeah right. thats what they all say, till they find out you're giving them a coffee maker, socks or more ugly underwear.

4. consider what the person does NOT have. then think of why they don't have them in the first place.

5. what would YOU want on your birthday? only because if you give them that, you'll probably receive the same thing on your birthday.

6. if after all that, you still have no idea what to get, give the most cliched thing in the world, the thing that would still make the person happy, an ANG BAO.

i'm tired. i'm bead. argh argh argh.
i hope what i'm doing is not for naught.

spencer

jargon jargon jargon

they should put a ban to the excessive usage of technical jargon.
for people who don't know what jargon is, jargon refers to terminology used by particular people doing particular sets of work.
e.g. hard news to a journalist doing journalism. or. pirouette to a ballerina.

i keep listening to so much of this terminology at work, at home, at dance, that i think my vocab content is just gonna explode and spill out all its contents soon.

wah.. my throat is going going gone. i shouted myself hoarse during rehearsal, i ate gelare, i ate char kway teow, etc etc etc. die ah die.
i better watch the intensity of how much shouting i do during the actual nights itself.
it's 3.30am in the morn and i'm still pretty hyper. not thinking anymore, but just hyper..
no thanks to the ice cream, and all the crazy, nutty people around me..
argh. gonna try and turn in now.. NIGHTS!

spencer

predictable/unpredictable

how life just play tricks on us, taking us away in our prime, leaving the people who love us so in a position of desolation, of loneliness, of grief.
the shock that hit me when i found out the passing of a good friend's mum today and the realisation of the unpredictability of life.
we hear the cliched tales of how we all always take life for granted and how we ourselves tell people never to do so.
and yet, it never really sinks in or hits hard until it happens to each and every one of us.
does it really take so much to have a lesson learnt?

i look at the things i've done today-(not in order):
played soccer from 6-9pm, attended service and AGM later on, pampered myself by eating char kway teow, and now sitting, pain free in front of my laptop typing this post out.
it really isnt hard to appreciate what we have and what God has given to us.
the trees, the flowers, the birds, the animals, the technology, the life.
i recently started realizing the beauty of simplicity and the simpleness of understanding how they came about: God created them.
we keep thinking of explanations for everything in this world, when yet, God is the only explanation.
that's what sets us apart from children.
Assuredly, i say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 18:3

p.s. correct me if i wrongly interpreted anything.

spencer

unlike aaron, i didnt emply mass comm theory into this. I AM BIASED!! =)
1.morgan
2.divinia
3.jay
4.hannah
5.han
6.charlene
7.norris
8.cheryl lek
9.andrew
10.kelly latimer
11.joe ho

1.How did you meet 10? CMM orientation
2.What would you do if you never met 2? be sad :(
3.What would you do if 9 & 11 dated? PRAY
4.Do you like 7? well. he's a fantastic buddy. so yep.
5.Would 5 & 6 make a good couple? LOL.
6.Describe 3. lovely :)
7.Do you think 8 is attractive? in her own way, she is
8.Tell me something about 9. versatile.
9.What's 5 favourite thing? normally i'd put girls. JOKING! hmmm. GOD
10.What would you do if 10 confesses he/she loves you? faint.
11.What language does 6 speak? gibberish :)
12.who is 9 going out with? oooohh. arent we all curious
13.How old is 8 now? 18
14.When was the last time you talked to 1? sunday?
15.What is 2's favourite band/singer? i've no idea.
16.Would you ever date 7? well. no. no offece norris
17.Would you ever date 11? oh dear. if i were a girl.....
18.Have you ever seen 8 naked? I WOULDNT WANT THAT
19.Name 5 people to do: eeny, meeny, miney and mo

spencer

a nightmare come to live.

ever had a nightmare that all the odds were stacked against you? you fill a chill down your spint and think this couldn't really be happening. then you wake up and take God it was onli a dream. well sth liddat happened, but it wasnt a dream. my worst nightmare had come to live.

i dunno wad i ate on tues, but it was bad. and during the afternoon, juz before my afternoon paper, i started feeling really sick and vomiting. thank God it was onli clb. but anyhow, the experience was bad. and no matter wad, i had to take the exam or else i wouldn't be able to get into a local u. so by God's grace, i got thru' the 30 mins paper. onli vomiting once before a paper. after tt my mum brought me to the doctor's, where i got a jab and then went to sleep till the next morning. but the WORST so yet to come.


the following day, which was yesterday, was my phy p3.. held at 8am.. and becoz i felt so bad, and slept straight after going to the docs, i din get a chance to revise.. and to make matters worst, i woke up at folloing morning at 740!! i was going to be late for my paper!

so i was sick, feeling all vomity, weak and all those other stuff you get from food poisoning. and now im going to be late for my biggest exam of my life. i had to go for the exam, no questions asked. if i din go, i'll have to take my a's NEXT yr. again. no an option i was willing to take. at this point, my nightmare had come to live. i kept thinking to myself tt it was time to wake up. onli to realise, this was reality. God help me!

thank God, my dad was still at home. he drove me straight to skool. on the way, my dad told me not to panic, not to hurry or ill get too tense and not think properly. thank God for his advice. by the time we reached my skool, it was already 810. and in jc, every min counts. so i went to the hall and pass the note the doc gave me to the chieft examiner. she was nice, and places me in an isolation room. but did all these without giving me a single min of allowance time. by the time i started my paper, i was 15 mins late.

aniwaez, i prayed and i did to paper. did the paper, feeling weak, not really vomity and a pain in the butt cuz of the jab. it was a wonder, how i managed to finish my paper. and finished it quite well.. im even ratjer confident bout the paper. and all thanx to God. cuz even when odds are against me, God is with me!

and tts im amazing story. my nightmare turned to live, now has a beautiful ending. glory to God!

Jams

wiley smiles

bekie and i drove auntie rina mad yesterday while she was trying to choreograph what we were supposed to do for our dance. :p
i still can't belive my own hyperactivity even after working that day.
but yea, we were just doing tonnes of crazy, nutty things throughout that time until i almost couldnt recognise myself. tsk tsk.

after prac was supper with andrew and norris. although it wasn't much of a meal, epecially since it was ice cream waffle at gelare. the night went on to become a late night interllectual convo with norris at a dinghy coffee shop that was playing old school, soapy chinese music. it's been long since i really sat down with someone to just talk the night away, in a mostly interllectual, thinking way. it frightens me to even think about it. anyway, the talk lasted till 3.30 am and i found myself locked out of my house when i got back.. ended up sleeping in the corridor till 6. :p

work's starting out good. got a few nice supervisors, crazy colleagues, etc etc etc..

i'm smiley smiley smiley.

spencer

taboo..

work is the new taboo word.
literally sends chills down my spine.
i can't believe i'm starting work in less than 12 hours.
feels like eternity since i actually worked for money and even longer since i got my butt off my chair at home.
oh well.
guess, it's dress up time.
formal work attire, time for you to be my new dress code.

s

no phone for now.
so try not to message or call.
email.
spencie88@gmail.com

s

work's starting next tuesday, my working time being from tuesdays to sundays from 2-7 pm
somehow, i cant wait to start work.

s

jobless no more

i finally got a job. urgh.
i re-did the blog skin too. urgh.
i'm bored. urgh urgh urgh.

s

it becoz of you

yesterday was my birthday. i wanted to blog bout it last nite, but had to sleep early for my morning paper today, which went better than expect. thank God!!

aniwaez thank you so much for all those who wished me happy birthday! without you guys, yesterday would juz be another day, another day of exams. for those who din wish me, it ok, i forget many ppl's birthdays too. lolx.. but im making an afford to change tt..

yesterday would be perfect juz as it was. had a good paper, went out for lunch with my mum, ppl wishing my happy bithday now and then. thing were going on smoothly, and i was juz bout to change to play soccer, till 3 dudes out of nowhere came pouncing onto me. jAMS totally caught me by surprised, to wish me happy birthday, try to write their 'birthday card' onto my body and gimme a cake. they had made this perfect day an unforgetable one. thanx guys! surely, if theres one thing i can boast, it'd be how God has blessed me with such great bros! and tt includs my biological one too, who gave me such a great present. (and it not onli becoz of the present tt i like him.)

alrite, time to get back to my mugging retual again. tmls math p2, so pray for me!

Jams
i can sign up for youth camp with parental consent!

a's - 11 more days to liberation

while spencer's post are always cheam, almost like really itterature, mines straight to the point. no fanciful words. no peotry-like statements. juz plain straight to the point english.

so how am i doing? well, the title says 90% of wad im feeling now. but i muz constantly remind myself tt a's ain't over yet, cuz i have been starting to dwell long er and longer into the things im supposed to be doing onli after my a's. i.e. blogging. lolx.. but todays special, it to remind all of you tt tml is a veri special day! lolx.. yes, i am tt narsistic.

aniwaez i gtg liao, back to my mugging retual. today's my clb pray for me..

Jams

p.s if anyone wans to buy me a present, dun buy me a bible. my lovely bro brought me a study bible and pocket bible already. and i love them!

4th

my 4th post in many days..
turns out that my mind is choosing a weird period to work overtime.
things seem to be slowly calming down, but has the climax truly been reached yet?
or are we still far from the pinnacle of events to occur?
i've put a barricade on such thoughts, choosing to focus on the meagre details instead.
e.g. how clean are my clothes, what to eat now, etc etc etc..
perhaps, in time, continental shifts would occur more rapidly.

despite nothing, anything and everything,
a tune still stands strong in my head,
words strung together to motivate movement from within.

Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

sSsSsSsSsSsS

strings

my body's aching.
netball two days back and soccer for 2 half hours continuous today has taken its toll.
my back aches, my arms ache, my legs ache, my neck aches.
i'm lethargic and my fitness levels are going down the drain.
time to start training again.
poor body, sorry to make you go through this.

so much for trying to fast today though.
had 2 pratas and an ice cream to last the whole day, then went jogging for an hour, did push ups, crunches, swam a few laps and played soccer with morgan for darn long.
i feel my stomach grumbling.
prayer does help but somehow the emptiness is still prominent and i think only food for now can fill up this void.
i think i have a fat fear now.
i cant stop myself from just getting up to do something.
and yet i know i should just sit down for a moment.
i feel my hamstring acting up again.
and my ankle's slightly swollen.
crap crap crap.
the good part, i think i lost some weight. (i better)

p.s email me at spencie88@gmail.com and not my hotmail. i cant seem to access it.

spencer

whoops.

the weeks have rolled on by, the months cascading past as this ceaseless tug-of-war continues, only straining bonds more and more.
i stand on neither bank, aiding neither part, swaying to neither side.
instead i choose not to see, not to notice, not to do anything.
i flee from my very ownself, coward to my own image, battered by my own soul.
there is no end to this wearisome, lethargic journey of self-discovery, and yet, there are few pit stops along the way.
i'm young and restless, yet old and fatigued.
the decisions i made i do not regret, and still i look back to what might have been.
the soil covering my past gets no rest.
and with every decision i make,
a rough path sprouts from beneath the dense undergrowth.
and to where it leads?
even a compass cannot tell.
i am a shadow to the world, there everywhere, but serving no purpose but to follow.

my brain's about to explode.
am thinking too much again.
my body's in hibernation.
netball does physical damage to one's body.
my soul's resting.
too much feeling for one week.
i am shutting down.
need to get more sleep in before i grow fat.

Super
Pencil
Exudes
Nostalgic
Contagious
Enigmatic
Ravishment

Jams

All the best for ur A lvl JAY!!! i pray tat GOD will give u strength, wisdom, a clear n calm mind.. also..i pray tat GOD will remove all ur stress, anxiety n tirness.. trust in GOD n hav faith bro.. juz do ur best n leave the rest to GOD.. HE will carry u through this tough time..

jAMS

Brother for sale

Well, we think this world
Is a real nice place
But we think that it's a crime
That we should have an older brother
Who picks on us all the time
So, next time he's sleeping in his room
We're goin' to sneak in and tie him
Then we'll talk him out into the street
And see if someone will buy him

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Only fifty cents
Brother for sale
He's not a big expense
You can hug him
You can bug him
You could buy or rent
Brother for sale,
Only fifty cents

Hey, would anybody like to buy
A slightly used big brother?
Even if you have one now
Trade him for another
He will help you with the chores
And he's fairly clean
The only problem is, sometimes
He can be so mean!

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Twenty Five Cents...etc

If mom knew we were selling him
We would really get it
Buy him now, don't pay 'til June
On approved credit
Buy him now, and we'll tell you
What we will do, mister
We'll even throw into the deal
Our little baby sister

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Only ten cents...etc

He will always pick you up
When you take a fall
And he's good at showing you
How to catch a ball
He always tells these funny jokes
And does this crazy dance
Hey, wait!He sounds like a pretty nice guy...
Let's give him one more chance

Our brother's not for sale
Not for any price
Our brother's not for sale
We guess he will suffice
We like to hug him
We like to bug him
He's really rather nice
Our brother's not for sale
Not for any price!

jams not for sale!

jAms