creation/destruction

i just got back from my rendevous with ronald.
another one of those conversational meetings about everything under the sun.
God has really opened up my eyes to His works and i think ronald is testament to that work. in these 2 short years, he has changed remarkably and there's so much difference in him these days.
and amanda too. gosh. no words that i can think of can fully describe the difference in her.
they've gone through a lot and came out of all the crap so much stronger. oh Lord, how you've really aided me so much in my life as well. and through them i see even more potential of what i can do with you by my side. you've created me for greater things in your eyes and this is thus what i live for.

i feel the mistakes i've made i've yet to atone for and my pride still eats away at my throat, not allowing me to swallow fully. i've said too many things inappropriate and i think i've insulted too many. no matter the apologies, nothing changes right? perhaps. i'm overrated as it is. and i underrate too many. it weighs too heavily on me. wish it never occurred in the first place.

spence